Friday, February 26, 2010

Peace

Our Israeli tour guide's name was Alan. Except for the time that we were in Jordan, Alan led us from site to site, explained historical events, read us Scripture, and helped us picture the Holy Land at the time of Jesus. Alan told us many stories - including his own.

Alan was a secular Jew who grew up in New Jersey. His family didn't practice religion and he didn't really care to know anything about it. When he was a young adult he visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC. The experience changed him. It affected him so deeply inside that for the first time in his life he felt a desire to know more about his people. So he went to Israel. He lived in a Kibbutz (small Jewish community) for awhile and finally decided to become an official citizen of Israel. He has been there for 25 years now - and has become an expert of the history, the land and the culture. He is now a practicing Orthodox Jew - very devout in his faith.

One evening during dinner conversation, the Pastor over our group, Dale, was asked if he had ever spoken to Alan about his faith and about Christianity. Since they have been good friends for many years, naturally they have had many of those conversations. Dale said that although many things affect Alan's beliefs, there are two main reasons why he can't buy into Christianity - even though he has way more Biblical knowledge than I have.

First, he can't get past God's first two Commandments (Exodus 20:1-2):
1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything...For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God...

You see, Christians have come in an built churches over everything and anything they think might be remotely related to Jesus - enormous shrines with gold and gody crosses, candles and pictures. The best (or perhaps worst) example was the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. When you walk in the church there is a rock - a wet rock - where they supposedly laid out Jesus' body after the took Him down from the cross. People were laying all over that rock ... wiping the water on their faces and their bags and their crucifixes. Bowing down to it and kissing it. And then you go up some stairs and there is a line that you can stand in - to see the rock of Golgotha. When it's your turn, you can crawl under a golden alter and reach your hand into a hole, to touch this "holy rock" - surrounded by ornate golden ... stuff. Then on the other side of the church you can wait in another line to enter this walk-through shrine of a room, which holds supposedly the tomb of Jesus. Again - gold threw up all over it. I just couldn't do it. It was so disappointing. And yet these churches are everywhere. They are at Gethsemane, Nazareth, Bethlehem, Mount of Beatitudes, over Peter's house at Capernaum, Feeding of the 5000 church ... the list goes on and on. To a Jewish person, to Alan, it seems like idolatry. I completely understand.

The second thing Alan can't get past is the Holocaust. Hitler, who was responsible for slaughtering of 6 million Jews (11-17 million people when you count the non-Jewish disabled, homosexuals and religious and political opponents), was a Christian. He used the Bible to justify his actions. He used the words of Martin Luther to further his cause. Over half of the Jewish race, wiped off the face of the earth in the name of Jesus. He just can't understand how a Christian could do this - and doesn't want to be any part of what Hitler was apart of. Regardless of the argument, I don't understand either. We went to Yad Vashem while we were in Jerusalem. Yad Vashem is Israel's official memorial to the Jewish victims of the Holocaust. The site covers 45 acres containing a Holocaust History Museum, Children's Memorial (that honors the 1.5 million children who lost their lives), and the Hall of Remembrance that houses the names of every known person who was murdered. There is also a garden with trees planted in honor of every known non-Jewish person who risked their lives to save a Jew. I have been to Dachau, a concentration camp in Germany, and this memorial site brought back that same solemn, sad, eerie feeling that I felt there. It is hard to wrap your mind around all that happened during those seven years. I didn't think I could even make it through the Children's Memorial - nothing inside of me even wanted to enter. Their pictures, their faces, but 1.5 million lights are reflected in there, representing their lights that were put out early - it hurt my heart. The Holocaust still haunts most Jews.

I've been thinking a lot about Alan lately - about the path he has chosen. I've always respected Jewish people - I love to learn about their history and their culture. I think I understand their struggles a lot more now having been to their land. They have been fighting for their existence for thousands and thousands of years. Did you know that every Israeli person is mandated by law to join the Israeli army for at least three years when they turn 18? No college, no way out - you must serve your country. They are still fighting to survive. I know that the other side has their arguments, too. I was able to hear some of both sides of the story ... and the division among the land and the people is very sad. I'm sad they don't have the freedom and forgiveness Jesus can bring.

We are blessed to live in this country, to be Americans. We sit and argue about our differences, but our division is not actual life or death to our families. From the beginning, Alan and Shimon(our bus driver) would say, "Say a prayer for peace in Israel." By the end of the trip, I understood why that is so important to them. For the ritual of it all, I stood at the Western Wall and I prayed... "Peace for Fellowship" and "Peace for Israel."

Monday, February 22, 2010

An Ancient Blessing

Israel is a very new country, in comparison to the people's history. These people have been occupied and ruled over for most of their existence. But on May 14, 1948, Israel declared their Independence. Still, much of the land that is now Israel was occupied and controlled by Jordan. Then during the "6 Day War" in 1967, Israel took control over all of Jerusalem.

For many years history has been covered by layers of soil. Periods of time, hidden by dirt and rocks. Possessions and tools of people long ago - waiting to be found. Finally, once inhabited caves and ancient villages that lay in ruins are now consistently being discovered by archeologists.

Just a few years ago a cave was discovered in Jerusalem. On the edge of a bluff, in a highly populated, modern part of the New City - somehow, someone found something ancient. I'm sure there is much in Jerusalem that has yet to be excavated - but in this certain cave artifacts were found dating back 2600 years. That is a long time.

The Israelites had just come home from exile in Babylon. The second temple was rebuilt, but it was small in comparison to what Herod would build hundreds of years later. 2600 years ago was the time period of the prophets Jeremiah and Ezekiel.
It was 600 years before Jesus walked the streets of Jerusalem. That is a long time ago.

In this cave, among other things, was found a charm that would have been worn around a woman's neck. Inside the charm was a scroll and on the 2600 year old scroll was written these words (see if they sound familiar):

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace."

These are the words of Numbers 6:24-26. These words are spoken as a benediction most Sundays by my Pastor at the end of worship. This is the blessing I encourage parents to use to bless their children. These are the words I use to bless my children before they go to sleep. These are the words spoken and cherished by a woman 2600 years ago.

When we read Scripture, very rarely do we think about its history - we don't stop to consider how ancient the words are. Do you know who spoke these words? I didn't. These are the words that the Lord told Moses to speak to Aaron and his sons. It's called "The Priestly Benediction." These are actually God's words. Spoken to Moses for Aaron. Spoken to a woman living in a cave outside of Jerusalem. Spoken to you and to me thousands of years later.

How beautiful are the words of Scripture. I've always known that the Bible is sacred, holy, inspired, wonderful...but I think I've taken it for granted.
Scripture is messy. Sometimes it is really hard to understand. It was written to and for and by people long ago. But it is alive, reaching across time and space, finding its way into our hearts. Sometimes finding us in a new way and changing our world forever. And that's what makes it so beautiful.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Overwhelmed & Adopted

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Although I won't be actually "working" for six more weeks, I already feel behind. I've double-booked myself several days, there are so many pictures to go through, so many blogs to write - memories to capture before they are erased from my mind. I think culture-shock hits harder coming home. Our America is so different...so fast paced. Being a mom is hard work. Technology surrounds and at times invades us. Not having my church home is kinda hard.

I think that I will slowly sift through my pictures and my notes. I hope to continue writing about my time in Israel, but I know that other things of this world will soon overtake it. But the blog that has most been on my heart is about adoption...

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I have no personal connection with adoption. I don't know anyone who has been adopted and don't know anyone who has adopted a baby. The closest thing I know is that I thought I wanted to adopt a "Haiti-Baby" after the earthquake. But, I have no personal investment in what adoption means to real families.

Yet, I know the Bible is full of the mention of adoption. I have been told for years, and having been teaching children for years, that we are adopted into the family of God. I know it on the surface - but what does that even mean?

I witnessed the beauty of adoption on the Mount of Olives. It was one of my favorite moments in Jerusalem.

As you know, God made a covenant with Abraham (Genesis 15, 17). God promised that he would be the father of many nations. Abraham's descendants are children of God - they are God's chosen people. History is full of how God has worked through them and with them - how God has blessed them and punished them. The Old Testament is their heritage.

A few years ago a Messianic Jew came to our church during the season of Lent. He showed us how Christ fits into the Jewish Passover - the symbolism between who He is and what Passover is all about. I was fascinated. Last year during Sunday school the children did a unit on Feasts and Festivals - learning all about Jewish holidays. You always learn by teaching - and I learned a lot about Jewish traditions. I decided then that I wanted to be Jewish. But I'm not Jewish. I know a little about my family ancestry - and I don't think that there is any Jewishness in there at all. But still I admire them and their history.

Being in their land, learning their history, hearing the stories of Abraham and David and their descendants - I was a little jealous it wasn't my history, my heritage. I love learning about genealogy and I want this to be apart of my genealogy.

But wait...it is. Abraham is my "father," too. God's promise to Abraham includes me - I am an heir. How can that be? Adoption.

"Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will - but born of God." John 1:12-13

"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." Galatians 3:26-29

You see, God was the God of the Israelites. The other people of the world were mainly pagan. They worshiped Baal, or this god or that god. They worshiped idols. They built temples to Greek gods and Roman gods. It was the Israelites who believed that there is only ONE God. Even though there were many times they slipped away - forgot who they were, whose they were, they were God's chosen. Before Christ, my ancestors were most likely pagan. I am a Gentile. Gentiles were pagan and unclean in the sight of God - not heirs of the promise of Abraham. But God sent His Son, Jesus, for all people. To save all of humanity. To be the one God of all.

And so, as I stood on the Mount of Olives I looked around me. People from all over the world had descended upon this place. Languages from every corner of the earth could be heard. A beautiful sound filled the air - a song of worship. I looked and saw a group of Koreans who had gathered to sing praises to our God. A man played his guitar and lead the group in singing. Although I could not understand a word, I knew they were worshiping and I knew who they were worshiping. I stood in awe of the beauty of the moment. These people were definitely not Jewish. But, like me, they had become children of God through adoption - through the blood of Christ.

It is my history and my heritage. Through adoption I am a child of God - loved, saved, and redeemed.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Uncovering Holy

We have spent the last two days wandering throughout Jerusalem. It's a very hard experience to explain. It's a very hard city to grasp. There is layer upon layer of human history here in this place. David built the first city here, the first Temple, it was a tent really, to hold the Holy of Holies (the Arc of the Covenant). His son, Solomon build a grand Temple upon the hill. It was destroyed as the Babylonians captured the Israelites. When they came back to Jerusalem, they built a new but small Temple. When King Herod came, he built a grand, immense, wonderful Temple. It was destroyed by the Roman around 66 BC. Then came the Ottomans, the Byzantines, the Muslims ... and I get lost in the history. Pieces of each era have been left behind. The Roman city lies far beneath the ground, except for the treasures the have been uncovered.

There are so many walls and so many gates. The streets of the Old City are very narrow and very crowded. Claustrophobia sets in quickly. It is just crazy! Every type of people, every race, every language you can imagine. No wonder Jesus spent most of His time along the Sea of Galilee - I would have too!

We went to all the spots you should see in Israel as a Christian - The Church of the Nativity, The Mount of Olives, The Garden of Gethsemane, The Church of the Holy Sepulcher, and the Garden Tomb. It is very hard to feel the holiness of these place when there are so many people around you. They feel like big tourist attractions - waiting in line, being pushed and shoved, and hurried along. Mostly they are gody shrines - cold and impersonal. Where is He?

What I do know of holy is that Holiness is not in these places. As intricate a part of the experience they are, Holiness is not found there (for me anyway).

Holiness is in your heart, in your soul - in the quiet places of your mind as you meditate on His words. Holiness is where you are ... right now. Not in Bethlehem or Jerusalem.
Not on a rock or on a hill or in a cave. This is a land of much history. God left His thumbprint right here in human history - but He left it here for the rest of the story ... for your story ... so you can be where you are - saved by grace through faith. Though you don't see Him, though you don't see this land ... His holiness is inside of you. "Blessed are those wo have not seen and yet have come to believe." John 20:29

Holiness was felt on the steps of the Temple - uncovered from the earth. No church, no alter, no shrine. Hard, cold steps that have stood the test of time beneath the ground. Steps that Jesus came to at the age of 12 - when He amazed people with His knowledge of the Scriptures. Steps where Rabbi taught their disciples - where Jesus would have been found teaching His disciples. The steps where the Church was born on the day Pentecost when 3000 people were baptized. Here in the quietness of the stories recalled from my heart, His Holiness is felt.

I'm learning and discovering more about His Holiness each day. May you discover Holy in the depths of your heart this day, too.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Crossing Jordan

I've spent the most part of the last three days in Jordan. It was an interesting experience and I learned a lot, but I'm glad to be back in Israel. Here's just a brief description of my experience.

It takes about and hour and a half to go across the border. On the way into Jordan, they checked our passports five different times and our baggage all went through security. The entire time we were in Jordan we had our own "Tourist Police" who traveled with us - everywhere we went. I think these police are mainly to help us feel safe (but I'm not sure he made me feel safer). He rode on the bus with us and never spoke. We went through many "police check points" - with guards standing with guns - and were always told "no pictures allowed."

Although the people of Jordan are very hospitable, they are very poor. They beg for money and follow you around trying to get you to buy their goods. I'm also pretty sure that they would take advantage of someone and cheat them out of money given the opportunity. The bathrooms were disgusting - sometimes just a hole in the ground - and very rarely with toilet paper. We learned quickly to bring our own tissue. They also expected you to pay or "tip" to use the bathroom. If you tipped, then they would sometimes give you a paper napkin to dry your hands.

There are also many people in Jordan called Bedouins. These people are nomads and still live in tents to this day. You could look out across the desert and see tents scattered over the hills and shepherds with their sheep. It's astonishing that people still live this way. The Bedouins we saw in Petra were descendants of Nabetians - they look like pirates to me (think Johnny Dep in Pirates of the Carribean). Some of these Bedouins still live in the caves of Petra to this day.

Our hotels in Jordan, however, were very lovely. They try very hard to empress visitors with their accommodations. And the food in Jordan was the best we've had. I had some Baklava last night that was to die for. The people are lively and friendly. They strive for peace. They love their king (King Abdulah).

Today we traveled the part of the desert that Moses and his people spent the last two years of their wandering in. It is a "vast wilderness." No wonder they complained so much. We went up to Mount Nebo - where God showed Moses the Promised Land. Moses never got to go there because he died on that mountain and God buried him there. French archeologists have been on Mount Nebo since 1933 looking for the tomb of Moses. They haven't found it. Something tells me when God buries somebody, He doesn't leave a tomb or a marker. Then we drove through the valley that Joshua led the people through on their way to Jericho. We didn't go into Jericho, but saw the lushness of the land. It was very green and grows good crops. Then over the mountain we went into Jerusalem.

Jerusalem. I'll tell you more tomorrow. I will say that tears overcame me when I laid my eyes upon Jerusalem for the first time. I did not expect that. We stopped at an overlook for a traditional Hebrew blessing with bread and grape juice. We sang songs of praise as we entered. We sat in silence as we drove through the Old City.

Amazing wonders lie ahead. David. Solomon. The Prophets. Jesus. Here.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Come and Eat

People come to the Holy Land for one of three reasons.

Tourist come seeking souvenirs.
Scholars come seeking knowledge.
Pilgrims come seeking God.

Today I seek God. I seek His heart. I seek to deepen my affection for Him.

We began today with a boat ride across the Sea of Galilee. The Sea is not as big as you would think. Standing in Tiberius, you can get a panoramic view of the entire Sea. Looking to your left (to the north) you see the shoreline where Jesus spent most of his time. Here you find Capernaum, Mount of Beatitudes, the place Peter was restored, where Jesus feeds the 5000, and so much more. To the north-east lies the beginning of the Golan Heights, starting at Mount Hermon (her-moan). Straight ahead lies land that belonged to Syria 2000 years ago and the place where swine came down the mountain side. You can also see to the south, although I’m not sure what lies there.

My story for today takes place along the north shore - the heart of Jesus’ ministry. In Capernaum. Jesus made this town along the Sea his home. From here He called His first disciples, Peter and John. He taught in the Synagogue and He healed Peter’s mother. The Gospels are full of the stories that took place throughout Capernaum. Today the town lays under ruins. A 3rd century city was built on top of it, but through many archeological digs, the Capernaum of Jesus’ day is being discovered.

When I think of the beach that Jesus walked along as He called His disciples - I think of soft sand. I think of warm sand getting between His toes as He walked along. Every time I have pictured these beloved stories in my mind, there is always sand. However, this is not the beach of Galilee. The shoreline is scattered with large rocks and the terrain is treacherous. I’m not sure how they walked along it in sandals (see picture on facebook).

It was also along this shoreline that Jesus appeared to seven of His disciples after His resurrection. They had gone home to Capernaum. Jesus had appeared to them but they still did not understand. Peter didn't get it. Peter only knew that he was a failure. He said to the others, “I am going fishing.” This isn't a leisurely fishing excursion he is planning, this is Peter going back to work. This is Peter saying, “I’m done.” Peter is going back to his old life.
After fishing all night and catching nothing, the disciples hear a voice calling out to them. “Have you not caught any fish? Cast your nets on the other side.” When they cast them in again, they were unable to haul it in because there were full of so many fish. It was then that John recognized Jesus and said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Peter immediately jumped into the water and the others followed in the boat. Jesus asked them to bring in some fish and then jesus said three very profound words: “Come and eat.”

This entire encounter is for Peter. Peter knew that He let Jesus down. He knew He deserved an “You said you wouldn’t betray me, huh?” He thought He was no longer any use to Jesus. But Jesus came to reconcile Himself to all people. Jesus sharing breakfast with Peter had huge meaning. Throughout the Bible, people share a meal as a sign of peace, a symbol of forgiveness. In Genesis, Jacob and Laban eat a meal together to part ways in peace (Genesis 31:43-54). In Exodus before he is given the 10 Commandments on stone, Moses and the people eat and drink before God (Exodus 24:9-11). In Leviticus the law states the Rabbis must eat a portion of every sacrifice. Even in the story of the Prodigal Son, the first thing that father does is call for a feast with the fatted calf.

This was Jewish culture. This was Jewish understanding. When you ate with someone who had wronged you, it signified forgiveness. Eating a meal was about reconciliation. Jesus having a meal with Peter showed him that he was forgiven.

Jesus eats a meal with us, too. Each time we take part in Holy Communion, we are taking part in this ancient tradition. Communion is about our reconciliation. Through the eating of the bread and drinking of the cup, our relationship with the Messiah is restored.

Today I saw this familiar story play out in a whole new way. This land has a way of taking the black and white words of Scripture and making them 3D and in color. The stories will never be the same.

We did a lot of other great things. Today wore me out and yet here I am typing at 10:30 p.m. Some other places that we visited that I will have stories for are:
- Caesarea Philipi
- Mount Hermon
- Dan ( and a 4000 year old entrance to Dan that Abraham once passed through)
- Mount of Beatitudes

Tomorrow I continue my pilgrimage in Jordan (where there probably is no Wi-Fi). I’m still seeking and still praying. I hope you are, too.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

All People & All Places

Tonight I sit along the shores of the Sea of Galilee. Wow - who says that?

We pulled into Tiberias at sunset, so tomorrow I will see much more. Tonight, I will try to take you through the sites of the last two days. So much information, so little time.

Yesterday afternoon we went to Jaffa (Joppa). It is an ancient port city - the place where people would come when they were going to Jerusalem from across the sea. Here we saw the traditional home of Simon the Tanner. Peter was staying with Simon when He had a vision and was sent to the home of Cornelius in Caesarea. (Acts 10:1-32) We stood in front of this home and walked along streets walked by Peter. We listened as the story unfolded to us and heard the words read that Peter heard from the voice in his vision: "What God has made clean, you must not call profane." Then Pastor Dale said these exact words: "God was doing a new thing. It took courage for Peter to accept that go to Caesarea. We must be open to God doing new things today." And I heard the echo. "God is doing something new"...these are the words of Pastor Alan. These are the words of Rob Bell. God doing a new thing. He made Gentiles clean. A new thing. Because ultimately its about humanity. God wants to extend grace and mercy to ALL people. That was my lesson in Jaffa. All people? Yes, even them.

Jaffa also brings the story of Jonah. Jaffa is where Jonah went to hide from God when He didn't want to go to Ninevah. Jonah didn't think God would find him there, but he learned quickly that you can't hide from God. Why did Jonah not want to go to Nineveah. Because he was scared? No. Because he hated the Asyrians who occupied the land and he did not want them to receive mercy. He would rather them be destroyed. If he went - they would be saved. But Jonah goes and he is successful. Ninevaeh repents and they are saved. Jonah ends abruptly, with Jonah resentful. The theme of the Prodigal Son is a lot the same. The father extends mercy and the oldest son is resentful. Here is where Pastor Mark says, "God desires to give grace and mercy to all people.
When God shows us something new, don't resist - follow Him." Was that another echo? Got it.

Today, we traveled along the coastline to begin in Caesaria for part two of Peter's story (from Jaffa). Here is where Cornelius lived and Peter came and the first Gentiles were reached with the Good News. Paul was also held here and gave his defense to King Agrippa. In Caeserea are the remains of a Theater, an Ampitheater, and a Hipitheater - built by King Herod. Caeserea was known as "Little Rome."

From Caesaria we turned east along the same passage ancient people would turn to go to east. The land becomes very hilly and it is the only way with a passage easy enough to take by foot (or bus in our case). For miles there are hills and cliff edges on either side. Finally you come through the hills and get your first look at the Valley or Jezreel - the Valley of Armageddon. (Revelations 16:13-16) The last hill to the north is Tel Megiddo. Tel means "hill" in Hebrew. This hill has 20-23 layers of human civilization - 7000 years of history. I have a hard time even wrapping my mind around that. From Megiddo you can see Mount Carmel - where the Prophet Elijah went against the god of Baal - and his fire (and God) won. We saw steep stone steps that have been untouched that Elijah would have had to walk up to enter the city of Megiddo. We saw ruins of the city King Ahab build and ruins of the "high place" where they would have sacrificed animals and children to pagan Gods (5000 years ago). In the distance you could see Nazareth, Mount Tabor (Jesus' ascention) and Mount Gilboa. These are mountains Elijah saw. These are mountains Jesus saw. Do I get it yet? Still I can't comprehend.

We left Megiddo, taking the same path through the Jezreel Valley to Nazareth. We just stopped for an overlook view of Nazareth. Today Nazareth has spilled onto and over the hills that once kept in a bowl. Today it is inhabited by mostly Arabs. Today Nazareth looks nothing like it did when Jesus grew up there. But Jesus would have climbed the hills surrounding Nazareth. Jesus would have looked upon the hills of Samaria in the distance. The same sun that set over Nazareth tonight, set over Nazareth and maybe Jesus once watched it. We took the path that Jesus' mother would have taken to Cana. We didn't stop in Cana - but I'm sure it doesn't look the same either. We took the same path Jesus would have taken from Nazareth when He went to Capernaum. I don't thing he traveled along a 4-lane highway - but he would have come through the valley. We entered Tiberias as sundown. We saw the first view of the Sea of Galilee that Jesus would have seen.

So much has changed. The modern world has rushed in and left only remnants of the world where Jesus lived. Yet, the sun remains unchanged. The sky, the stars, the water and the hills remain. And our God remains.

He is here. I am beginning to feel it. Tomorrow will be a big day. I look forward to seeing where I find Him.

May you find Him ... because you don't have to come the Holy Land to do it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Bright and Shiny

Several years ago my husband bought me a ring for my birthday. My "Jesus fish" encircled ring is sterling silver from James Avery. Just about every day you can see it upon my right hand, middle finger.

Yesterday during a trip to the mall, I stopped in to have it cleaned. This not something I have ever done, but my friend Jennifer does it often with her James Avery silver, so I followed suit. We dropped off our jewelry and started on my list of "I needs." An hour later we came back to retrieve our silver. When the associate pulled my ring out of the little felt pouch and I put it on my finger, I was in shock. I was in awe. I could barely believe what I saw. My ring that had once been well worn and well loved, scratched and dull ... was now bright and shiny. I didn't even remember it looking this great the day I received it as a gift. I guess I had just gotten sp used to it's lackluster that I forgot it's brilliance. I couldn't stop looking at my hand (and then I decided I needed a much prettier hand to wear such a shiny ring-where was my lotion?).

As we walked through the parking lot, Jennifer and I began pondering the similarities between that dull ring and our lives. So often we get used to being dull, lackluster, stuck in a rut...that it just seems normal. Our lives get dirty, stained, scratched and it just becomes the way we are. But I think God desires for us to be bright and shiny. In just minutes all the old grime was polished away from my ring and it was good as new. Jesus does the same for us. When we finally realize that we've become less than what God desires, He is right there to polish us up. We become "new creations" in Him every time we ask to be made clean. However, He loves us because He loves us - not because of what we do or what we don't do - He loves us because He loves us. He longs to see us bright and shiny...but He loves us even when we are lackluster.

Jennifer says that I'm going to go off on my sabbatical and get all bright and shiny while she stays dull and dirty. I told her she better stay away then so she doesn't rub her dirt off on my shininess. :) Actually, I hope to come back and rub my shininess off on her and everyone else. How else are we supposed to be a "City on a Hill" if we are not shining bright for the world to see?

May you remember that God loves you whether you are dull and dirty or bright and shiny. May you turn to Him today and ask Him to polish you up a bit.



Monday, February 1, 2010

A New Day

In my attic are boxes full of journals. For years upon years I wrote down thoughts, feelings, dreams, questions, life. Then along came kids and ministry and somewhere that got lost. However, I love to write and so I've decided that since I am beginning this journey of my sabbatical today, I would begin journaling again. This time I won't use a notebook or pen - I'll try to be more culturally relevant and share my journeys with anyone who is interested. I want this sabbatical time to have a purpose. I know that God has great things in store for me. I plan to pay attention to His echoes and His whispers. I hope to not get caught up in life but to take time to be in His presence. Hopefully keeping track of it all will guide me to that end.

A song came to me last night as I eased into the evening of my last day. I had heard it before, but last night realized the searching of the song mimics the searching of my heart.

What Do I Know of Holy?
Addison Road

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?


What do I know of Holy? For seven years I've been living and breathing God - sharing Him, teaching of Him, following Him, questioning Him. But what do I know?

I begin this two month journey with a seeking heart and with an expectant longing.

I seek God's Will. I seek His love and grace. I seek to reconnect and rediscover Jesus and learn more about who He is.
Truthfully, I've become cynical and jaded lately. I've been slapped in the face by the feeling that some Christians just aren't nice. I wonder how some people can be worshiping the same God, following the same Jesus and reading the same Bible. Do have it wrong? Have I missed some important detail that makes my Jesus so different from the Jesus that others follow? Did I get a different version of the Bible?

I long to recapture that love and passion I once felt for my church and my calling. I know that I love my church and I love my job, but sometimes all the small stuff gets in the way of the big picture. I long for God's perspective to win out over fear and doubt. I know He sees the big picture and long to catch a glimpse of it, too. For I know: God is faithful. God is faithful. God is faithful.

And so I begin.